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Updated: Oct 20, 2021

Marriage is essentially about meeting needs

If your spouse's needs are not being met, they will always feel disappointed, discontented and unhappy in the relationship. If they don't feel liked, loved and respected, they may be assaulted with the temptation to roam.

In fact, many, especially those who are not disciplined, and who do not understand the scope of marital commitment have ventured beyond the borders of the marriage in an attempt to have their deepest needs met.

Nobody should ever boast that their marriage is infidelity proof or immune to failure and hence, treat their spouse's needs with scant regard. You must understand what their needs are and make every effort to meet those needs. Fail here, and you may, one day, have a rude awakening.

Speaking to husbands, God categorically asserts that no man can live with a woman, and have a successful marriage except he understands her, and seeks to meet her needs. The same holds true for the woman. (See 1 Peter 3:7)

Now that we have established the importance of meeting needs within the context of marriage, let's zero in on the man's needs. The ultimate marriage manual has a sublime counsel for women. Ephesians 5:33 states, "The wife sees that she respects her husband".

The word respect means: A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, of others. -Dictionary.

What does this mean for men, and particularly married men. The husband interprets respect primarily from the affirmation received from his wife. In other words, every dissatisfied husband will immediately exclaim that if they had a wife who affirms them, they would be the happiest of all living creatures.

So, here you have it. The man's greatest need is for affirmation.

If he does a good job, it's no time to be silent. If he achieves a milestone on the job, you throw a celebration. If he makes a breakthrough in a difficult project, you summon the band to peal the air with his favorite chorus.

If you are living with a man, the watchword is affirmation:

The words of encouragement when he is dispirited and dejected.

The look of acceptance when he fails.

The embrace you give him after a hard day's work.

The nod of the head when he is speaking or teaching or performing.

You are not alone. You have good company in scripture.

Abraham found encouragement, for "Sarah calls him lord" (1 Peter 3:6 ).

Nabal, the fool had his life spared, for Abigail spoke on his behalf.

And Adam reminds us of God's design, for Eve was his helper.

Go forth, and transform your marriage, by meeting the needs of your husband.

Your presence, your emotional support when he needs it.

The words that say, "You can do it" for you believe in his dreams.

You are a wise woman, if you speak to the king in your man.

Lloyd Allen

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