Updated: Oct 20, 2021
The Transformative Power of Apology and Forgiveness.
Time and again I have had to say to my wife, "I'm sorry". It is a way of saying, I got that wrong, I want to do better next time. Will you please help me?
What I've observed about apology is it's power to transform a relationship. The receiver gets the message that you care about them, and that you care about the relationship.
It communicates that you feel the pain you caused them, and how much you have hurt the relationship. They feel a restoration of their dignity and that they matter in your eyes.
One of the great blessings of being a Christian is that God endows us with a spirit of repentance, for indeed "He leads to repentance" (Romans 2: 3,4).
He takes away the stony heart and gives us a heart of flesh (See Ezekiel 36:26).
He equips us with the capacity for remorse and empathy, to become sensitive of the feelings of others. All these are necessary characteristics, if we are to genuinely apologize.
Apology is so important in a relationship that, typically a ruptured relationship cannot be repaired except through genuine apology. On the other hand, apology has the power to melt away resentment, bitterness and grudge and pave the way for restoration and reconciliation.
Apology is an acknowledgement that you are not perfect. The vulnerability created is a necessary step towards relinquishing the old mistakes and replacing them with a new perspective. Simply put, it is a opportunity for us to grow.
Somebody said it well, that a great marriage is the union of two great forgivers. Why? Because a great marriage is the union of two imperfect persons.
In marriage, the masters of relationship are always seeking an opportunity to repair the relationship. The lapse in judgement, the impatience manifested, and the thoughtless sentiments expressed reveal that apology must be a language fluently spoken in our homes.
The mom and dad model apology and forgiveness as a twin principle of a long-lasting and healthy relationship. The children replicate the practice, not just among themselves, but in the new families that they form.
Today, If you desire restoration in your relationship, then fall at the feet of your spouse and like the prodigal son, confess: "I have sinned against heaven and before thee. Reckon me as a spouse who wants to do better".
Like the wealthy tax collector, reveal the sincerity of your apology by offering to make restitution, and to do "whatever you require to make things right" (See Luke 19:8)
Like David, Be specific about "that thing" for which you apologize, for you want to be taken seriously. And above all, promise that there will not be a repeat performance of the wrong, for you desire to be restored to the joy and bliss of the marital relationship.