The Unfaithful Spouse- Infidelity Recovery 1 - Systems
- Lloyd Allen
- 5 days ago
- 17 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
The Brutal Truth About Being the Unfaithful Spouse
The Core Paradox
You had the affair. You destroyed trust. You shattered your spouse. You made unilateral choices that devastated the person who trusted you most.
And now you want to fix it.
Most unfaithful spouses approach recovery completely wrong:
Apologize profusely (feels insincere after betrayal)
Promise it will never happen again (worthless after breaking vows)
Try to "move past it quickly" (minimizes devastation)
Get defensive when questioned (re-traumatizes betrayed spouse)
Want credit for ending affair (like wanting praise for stopping a robbery you committed)
Here's the system reality: Your betrayed spouse cannot heal the marriage. Only you can. You broke it unilaterally; you must fix it unilaterally—through sustained, radical transformation that proves you've become someone incapable of betrayal.
The counterintuitive truth: Saving your marriage requires you to stop trying to save your marriage and start becoming a fundamentally different person with different character, different boundaries, different integrity, and different capacity for pain tolerance.
This isn't about managing your spouse's emotions. It's about reconstructing your entire moral architecture.
Real Scenario: James's Story
The Affair (18 Months)
James, 38, married to Michelle for 12 years, two kids (8 and 10):
Met Sarah at work conference
"Emotional connection" turned physical over 6 months
18-month affair (combination emotional/physical)
Justified it: "Michelle doesn't understand me," "Our marriage was already dead," "I deserve happiness"
Lived double life: loving husband/father at home, passionate lover with Sarah
Elaborate deception: burner phone, fake work trips, lies upon lies
The Discovery (D-Day)
Michelle finds explicit texts on James's iPad:
Confronts him
James's immediate response (TYPICAL UNFAITHFUL SPOUSE PATTERN):
Trickle truth: "It was just texting" → "We kissed once" → "It was only a few times" → Finally full truth after weeks
Minimization: "It didn't mean anything"
Blame-shifting: "You've been distant for years"
Defensiveness: "Do you know how hard my life is?"
Self-pity: "I feel terrible about this"
Impatience: "How long are you going to punish me?"
Month 1-3: The Typical Failed Response
James's approach (what most unfaithful spouses do):
Week 1:
Apologizes repeatedly
Ends affair (tells Michelle he ended it)
Promises to never do it again
Expects Michelle to "start healing"
Gets frustrated when she can't stop crying
Week 2:
Michelle asks detailed questions (Where? When? How many times? Did you love her? Was she better than me?)
James gets defensive: "Why do you need to know this? It's over! Can't we move forward?"
James feels attacked: "I said I'm sorry! What more do you want?"
Still in contact with affair partner (claiming "closing out the relationship respectfully")
Week 3-4:
Michelle discovers he's still texting affair partner
James: "I was just telling her it's over! You're being paranoid!"
James resents Michelle's "surveillance" (checking phone, questioning whereabouts)
James misses affair partner (withdraws emotionally from Michelle)
James compares Michelle unfavorably to AP: "She never interrogated me like this"
Month 2:
James makes token efforts: brings flowers, plans date night
Expects Michelle to respond positively
Gets hurt when she can't trust him
Starts resenting the "punishment": "I ended it! I'm trying! This is impossible!"
Considers affair partner was "easier" (doesn't say it but Michelle feels it)
Month 3:
James frustrated: "I can't do this anymore. You won't let me move on."
Michelle still devastated, hyper-vigilant, anxiously attached
James wants "old Michelle back" (the one who trusted him before he destroyed her)
Marriage worse than Month 1
Heading toward divorce
The System State: Critical Failure
Why James's approach failed:
1. He wanted credit for stopping what he should never have started "I ended the affair!" = "Praise me for stopping robbing the bank!"
2. He prioritized his comfort over her healing Her questions made him uncomfortable, so he shut them down.
3. He wanted quick forgiveness without earning trust Trust takes years to rebuild; he wanted weeks.
4. He remained defensive instead of radically open Every question felt like attack instead of wounded spouse seeking truth.
5. He didn't address the character defects that enabled the affair Never asked: "What's broken in me that I was capable of this?"
6. He compared Michelle (traumatized) to AP (affair fog) Of course AP was "easier"—no betrayal, no kids, no mortgage, just fantasy.
7. He was impatient with her trauma Wanted her to "get over it" on his timeline.
The system result: Michelle can't heal because James won't do the deep work. She's expected to trust someone who hasn't become trustworthy. The marriage is dying because James is treating affair recovery like a PR crisis instead of a character crisis.
The Unilateral Intervention: James's Radical Transformation
Month 4: James's Awakening
James finds a therapist who specializes in affair recovery and doesn't coddle unfaithful spouses.
Therapist's First Session:
"James, everything you've done for three months has made this worse. You want Michelle to heal so you can feel better. That's not how this works.
You didn't just have an affair. You became a liar, a deceiver, someone capable of looking your wife in the eye after sleeping with another woman and asking 'How was your day, honey?' You compartmentalized. You justified. You betrayed every value you claim to hold.
The affair isn't your problem. Your character is your problem.
Until you address what made you capable of this level of deception, Michelle can't trust you. She shouldn't trust you. You're not trustworthy yet.
Saving your marriage requires you to become a completely different person. Not 'try harder.' Not 'be more attentive.' Fundamental reconstruction of who you are.
Are you willing?"
James (defensive): "I made a mistake! I ended it! What more can I do?"
Therapist: "A mistake is forgetting your anniversary. This was 18 months of calculated deception. Hundreds of choices to lie. You didn't make a mistake; you revealed who you are. Now you need to become someone else.
And here's what you're missing: Michelle can't fix this. Only you can. She's traumatized—she needs you to be the healer, not another wound. But you keep defending yourself, minimizing, expecting her to do the work of trusting you again.
Your marriage survives only if you do the hardest work of your life. Starting today."
James breaks down. Finally realizes the magnitude.
The Radical Transformation: What James Does Differently
1. Complete Transparency (Immediate, Total, Permanent)
Old James (Months 1-3):
Gave Michelle his phone password (but deleted conversations first)
Provided "limited" information (to "protect her from pain")
Resented surveillance
Had boundaries around his "privacy"
Trickle-truthed details
New James (Month 4 forward):
Day 1 of Transformation:
James (to Michelle): "Michelle, I haven't been fully transparent. I've been protecting myself instead of helping you heal. That changes today.
Here's what complete transparency looks like, starting now:
All passwords to everything (email, phone, social media, work accounts)
You have access to everything, anytime, without asking
I will never delete anything
I will answer every question, no matter how painful, with complete honesty
I will not get defensive when you check
I will volunteer information, not wait to be caught
I have nothing to hide—ever again
I'm also going to write you a complete timeline of the affair—everything, from first conversation to last contact. Every lie I told. Every time I chose her over you. It will be excruciating to write and devastating to read. But you deserve the complete truth so you can decide if I'm worth staying with."
Michelle (stunned): "Why now? Why not three months ago?"
James: "Because I was a coward. I was more concerned with protecting myself than helping you heal. I'm done being that person."
Week 1 of Transparency:
The Timeline Document:
James writes 15-page document including:
How affair started (first conversation, first emotional boundary crossed)
Every physical encounter (dates, locations, what happened)
How he justified it (his internal narrative)
Every lie he told Michelle (documented systematically)
How he compartmentalized (how he came home and acted normal)
What he said about Michelle to AP (the betrayal behind the betrayal)
Financial costs (money spent on affair)
Complete timeline from beginning to discovery
He gives it to Michelle with this:
"Everything you're about to read will hurt. I'm giving you truth I should have given immediately. You'll probably want to divorce me after reading this—I wouldn't blame you. But you need complete truth to make an informed decision. I won't defend any of it. It's indefensible."
Michelle reads it. Devastated again. But something's different:
For the first time, she has complete truth (as far as she can tell). No more wondering. No more trickle truth. The pain is unbearable, but it's clean pain—not the compounded pain of lies upon lies.
The System Shift:
Transparency does three things:
Removes Michelle's need for surveillance - When James volunteers everything, she doesn't have to detective. The hyper-vigilance decreases (slowly).
Demonstrates James's commitment - Radical openness is costly for James (uncomfortable, vulnerable). This cost signals genuine remorse.
Provides foundation for trust rebuilding - Trust requires predictability. James is now radically predictable—completely open. Over time (months/years), this creates possibility of trust.
2. Zero Defensiveness (Complete Vulnerability to Her Pain)
Old James (Months 1-3):
Defended himself when questioned
Got hurt when Michelle expressed pain/anger
Felt "attacked" by her questions
Said things like: "How long are you going to punish me?" "I said I'm sorry!" "You're being paranoid!"
New James (Month 4 forward):
The New Response Pattern:
Michelle (week 1 of Month 4, triggered, angry): "You looked at your phone just now the same way you used to when you were texting HER. Are you still in contact with her?"
Old James response: "Are you serious? I was checking the weather! This is exhausting! You don't trust me at all!"
New James response: "I understand why that triggered you. I conditioned you to be suspicious of my phone usage. Let me show you exactly what I was doing. [Shows phone.] It was weather app. But I get why you reacted that way—I gave you 18 months of reasons to be suspicious. Your reaction is normal. I created this."
Michelle (still angry but disarmed): "I hate this. I hate that I can't trust you. I hate who I've become—constantly suspicious."
New James: "I hate what I've turned you into. You were a trusting person. I destroyed that. I'm so sorry. Your suspicion is my fault, not yours. We'll get through this—at your pace, not mine."
The Pattern Across Multiple Scenarios:
Scenario: Michelle asks painful question "Did you love her?"
Old James: "It wasn't like that. Can we not do this?"
New James: "That's a painful question for you to ask and for me to answer. The truth is I told myself I had feelings for her, but it wasn't love—it was fantasy, escape, ego. Real love doesn't destroy. What I did to you wasn't love. I'm sorry for making you even have to ask this question."
Scenario: Michelle compares herself to AP "Was she prettier than me? Better in bed? Thinner? Smarter?"
Old James: "Don't do this to yourself. You're beautiful!"
New James: "You shouldn't have to ask these questions. I created this comparison in your head. The affair wasn't about her being better—it was about me being broken. I chose easy fantasy over hard reality. I chose selfishness over integrity. Nothing about her made this happen—everything about my character defects made this happen. You are not less than her in any way. I was less than who I promised to be."
Scenario: Michelle has rage outburst "I HATE YOU! You destroyed everything! How could you do this to me? To our kids? How could you look me in the eye every day and LIE?"
Old James: [Gets defensive, walks away, feels attacked]
New James: [Sits, takes it, doesn't defend] "You have every right to be angry. Everything you're saying is true. I did destroy our trust. I did lie to your face. I betrayed you in the worst way. Your anger is valid. I'm not going anywhere. Rage at me as long as you need."
The System Shift:
When James stops defending:
Michelle's nervous system can finally discharge trauma - She's been holding rage for months. His defensiveness kept her in sympathetic arousal. His non-defensiveness lets her release.
Michelle stops feeling crazy - "Am I overreacting?" When he validates her pain, she feels sane for the first time since discovery.
The dynamic shifts from adversarial to collaborative - They're no longer enemies. He's bearing witness to pain he caused. This is the beginning of healing.
Michelle can begin to differentiate between old James (who betrayed) and new James (who owns it) - This distinction is critical for recovery.
3. Complete Severance (No Contact, No Exceptions, Forever)
Old James (Months 1-3):
"Ended" affair but maintained contact
"Had to" tell AP it was over "respectfully"
Kept job where he saw AP regularly
Defended keeping AP on social media ("We work together; it would be awkward to unfriend")
Resented Michelle's "demands" about no contact
New James (Month 4):
Day 2 of Transformation:
James to Michelle: "I haven't fully severed contact with Sarah. I told you I did, but I've sent three texts and I saw her at work twice this week. That ends today.
Here's what I'm doing:
I'm sending one final text—you will write it, and you will watch me send it
I'm blocking her on everything—phone, email, social media, everywhere
I'm requesting immediate transfer to different department (submitted this morning)
If transfer isn't approved within 30 days, I'm finding new job
I will never speak to her again—no 'closure,' no 'friendship,' nothing
If I see her at work, I will turn around and walk away
If she contacts me, I will immediately tell you and show you the message
You will have access to all my communications forever so you can verify this."
Michelle: "What if she tries to contact you?"
James: "I block and immediately tell you. She has no place in my life. Ever. I chose to marry you. I'm choosing you now. She was a symptom of my brokenness, not someone I need in my life."
The Transfer/Job Change:
James requests transfer. Denied (business needs).
James (to Michelle): "Transfer denied. I'm looking for new jobs. I will not work near her. This is non-negotiable."
Within 45 days: James accepts new job. 15% pay cut. He takes it without complaint.
Michelle: "You didn't have to change jobs."
James: "Yes, I did. Proximity to her is a threat to our marriage. Our marriage is more valuable than any job. I should have done this on Day 1."
The System Shift:
Complete severance does multiple things:
Removes ongoing threat - Michelle can't heal while AP is accessible. James's job change removes this variable.
Demonstrates sacrifice - James took pay cut to protect marriage. This costly signal proves commitment.
Eliminates "Plan B" - As long as AP was accessible, James had exit strategy. Burning bridge forces full commitment to marriage.
Allows Michelle to breathe - No more wondering "Is he still in contact?" The answer is definitively no.
4. Deep Individual Therapy (Addressing Character, Not Just Affair)
Old James (Months 1-3):
Suggested couples counseling (to "fix the marriage")
Avoided individual therapy (didn't think he needed it)
Saw affair as "mistake" not character revelation
New James (Month 4):
Week 1: James begins intensive individual therapy (2x weekly, committed to 18-24 months minimum)
Focus of therapy (not on marriage, on James):
Session 1-4: The Character Excavation
Therapist: "What's broken in you that made this possible?"
James's work:
Explored childhood (narcissistic father, learned to compartmentalize)
Identified pattern of avoiding discomfort (affair was avoidance of marital problems)
Examined entitlement ("I deserve happiness/excitement")
Addressed conflict avoidance (didn't address marital issues, escaped instead)
Explored integrity gaps (areas where values and behavior didn't align)
Examined empathy deficits (couldn't feel Michelle's pain during affair)
Session 5-12: The Reconstruction
Therapist: "Who do you need to become?"
James's work:
Developing distress tolerance (sitting with discomfort instead of escaping)
Building integrity (aligning behavior with values in all areas)
Cultivating empathy (active practice feeling others' pain)
Learning vulnerability (expressing needs directly instead of acting out)
Addressing conflict directly (no more avoidance)
Building accountability (accepting consequences without self-pity)
Session 13+: The Maintenance
Weekly individual therapy (reduced from 2x)
Ongoing character development
Processing Michelle's pain without making it about him
Managing guilt appropriately (motivation, not paralysis)
Building life of integrity in all areas
In Addition to Therapy:
James joins:
Men's group (recovering unfaithful spouses, weekly)
Church accountability group (3 men who know everything, check in weekly)
Reading intensive (2 books monthly on character, integrity, marriage recovery)
Books James reads in first 6 months:
"How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair" (required, re-reads monthly)
"Not Just Friends"
"The Body Keeps the Score" (to understand trauma he inflicted)
"No More Mr. Nice Guy"
"Daring Greatly"
"The Road Back to You" (Enneagram, understand his patterns)
"Boundaries"
"The Meaning of Marriage"
10+ more on character, integrity, emotional intelligence
The System Shift:
James's deep work accomplishes:
He's addressing root, not symptoms - Affair was symptom of character defects. He's fixing the defects.
He's becoming trustworthy - Trust requires consistent character. He's building that character.
Michelle sees genuine change - Token effort is obvious. Deep transformation over months is convincing.
He's prepared for long game - Recovery takes 2-5 years. He's committed to that timeline.
5. Radical Accountability (Consequences Without Complaint)
Old James (Months 1-3):
Resented Michelle's "surveillance"
Complained about loss of privacy
Felt "punished"
Wanted credit for ending affair
Impatient with her healing timeline
New James (Month 4 forward):
The Accountability Framework:
James (to Michelle, Month 4, Week 1):
"Michelle, I created this crisis. Every consequence you impose is one I've earned. Here's what I commit to:
Transparency - You have complete access to everything, forever. I will never resent this or complain about it.
Answering questions - You can ask anything, anytime, as many times as you need. I will answer with patience and honesty, even if it's the hundredth time.
Your timeline - Recovery takes 2-5 years typically. I'm committed to that timeframe. This is my fault; we heal at your pace, not mine.
Your emotions - You will have rage, sadness, triggers, bad days. I will be present for all of it without defensiveness. You're entitled to every feeling.
Consequences - If you need space, I give it. If you want me in guest room, I go. If you need me to miss events, I miss them. If you need separation, we separate. Whatever helps you heal.
No complaining - I will never complain about the consequences of my choices. I broke this; I fix it. Period.
The only thing I ask is this: Please don't make a final decision about our marriage until you've had time to heal. Not asking you to stay—just asking you to wait to decide until you're not in crisis mode. If after healing you want divorce, I'll understand and respect that."
Living This Out:
Month 4-6 Examples:
Michelle checks his phone at 2am (nightmare triggered her):
Old James: "Are you serious? It's 2am! I need sleep!"
New James: [Wakes up, hands her phone, unlocked] "Take all the time you need. I'm here if you want to talk."
Michelle asks for 47th time: "Did you love her?"
Old James: "We've been through this! How many times?"
New James: "I told myself I did, but it wasn't love. Love doesn't destroy. I'm sorry I keep putting you through this question."
Michelle tells him to sleep in guest room (4 months running):
Old James: "How long is this going to go on?"
New James: "As long as you need. Our bed is yours. I'll be in guest room whenever you're ready for me to come back."
Michelle has PTSD trigger (sees woman who resembles AP at grocery store, comes home devastated):
Old James: "You're letting this control your life!"
New James: [Drops everything, holds her if she wants, sits with her pain] "I'm so sorry. This is my fault. What do you need right now?"
Michelle tells him he can't come to friend's party (she doesn't want to explain affair or pretend everything's fine):
Old James: "That's my friend too! This is humiliating!"
New James: "I understand. I'll stay home. You go enjoy yourself. You shouldn't have to manage my image after what I did."
Michelle's mother wants to talk to James (she knows about affair, is protective of daughter):
Old James: "I don't have to explain myself to her!"
New James: [Sits with mother-in-law, takes full ownership] "I betrayed your daughter. You have every right to be angry with me. I'm doing everything I can to become trustworthy again. I understand if you never forgive me."
The System Shift:
James's radical accountability:
Removes secondary trauma - Every time he complained about consequences, he re-traumatized Michelle. His acceptance removes this.
Demonstrates remorse through action - Words are cheap. Accepting consequences without complaint proves remorse.
Allows Michelle to focus on healing - She's not managing his emotions anymore. She can focus on herself.
Shifts power dynamic - She has agency. He submitted to consequences. This restores some of what affair stole—her power.
6. Proactive Healing Support (He Becomes Her Safe Space)
Old James (Months 1-3):
Expected Michelle to heal independently
Didn't research betrayal trauma
Got uncomfortable with her pain
Wanted her to "move on"
New James (Month 4 forward):
The Proactive Support:
James researches betrayal trauma:
Reads "The Body Keeps the Score"
Understands PTSD symptoms
Learns about triggers, flashbacks, hypervigilance
Attends betrayed spouse support group (as observer, with Michelle's permission) to understand her experience
James creates healing resources for Michelle:
Finds therapist who specializes in betrayal trauma (pays for weekly sessions)
Finds support group for betrayed spouses
Orders books for her healing ("The Body Keeps the Score," "Intimate Deception," "Healing from Infidelity")
Offers to watch kids so she can attend therapy/groups
James learns her triggers and helps manage them:
Michelle's triggers (James documents and learns):
His phone buzzing (he now tells her before checking it: "Work email, let me show you")
Him working late (he now texts photos from office, calls on video)
Certain songs (were "their" songs with AP—he never plays them)
Business trips (he now FaceTimes throughout, sends location pings)
Her going to bed without him (she wonders if he's contacting AP—he now goes to bed when she does)
James initiates healing conversations:
New pattern (2x weekly minimum):
James: "Can we check in? How are you doing with everything?"
Michelle: [Shares where she is—good day or terrible day]
James: [Listens without defensiveness, validates pain, answers questions, holds space]
Example:
Michelle: "I had a terrible day. I kept thinking about you with her. Did you take her to the same restaurants we went to?"
James: "Yes. Twice. [Names restaurants.] I'm sorry. I contaminated our places. Would it help if we created new places—restaurants we've never been to together? We can make new memories?"
Michelle: "Maybe. I don't know."
James: "No pressure. Whenever you're ready. I'm just trying to help you heal however I can."
The System Shift:
James's proactive support:
He's no longer passive - He's actively facilitating her healing, not waiting for her to ask.
He's educated - He understands her trauma, so he can respond appropriately.
He anticipates needs - He's managing triggers before they happen (when possible).
He's her safe space - She can talk about pain without him getting defensive. This is critical for healing.
Month 6-12: The Long Road
Month 6: Tentative Progress
What's Different:
Michelle:
Still traumatized but healing incrementally
Trust at maybe 10% (up from 0%)
Triggered less frequently (maybe 3x/week instead of 20x/day)
Sees James's changes (undeniable at this point)
Considers maybe staying (50/50 instead of 95% leaving)
James:
6 months of consistent transformation
No contact with AP (verified daily through transparency)
Individual therapy weekly (processed significant character issues)
Men's group accountability
Read 12+ books on recovery
Zero defensiveness maintained
Radical accountability sustained
Marriage is priority (demonstrated through choices)
The Marriage:
Still fragile
Michelle moved James back to bedroom (Month 5)
Sexual intimacy attempted (twice, difficult for Michelle)
Some conversations that aren't about affair
Brief moments of connection
Long way from "recovered" but moving right direction
Month 7-12: The Deepening Work
The Challenge: Months 1-6 were sprint. Months 7-12 are marathon. Many unfaithful spouses quit here.
What James Sustains:
Transparency:
Still complete access to everything
Never complains about surveillance
Volunteers information proactively
Michelle checks phone 2-3x/week (down from 20x/day) because she's building trust
Therapy:
Still weekly individual
Now joined couples therapy (started Month 8)
Processing childhood wounds that made him vulnerable to affair
Building emotional intimacy skills he never had
Learning to be vulnerable instead of seeking validation externally
Accountability:
Men's group (50+ consecutive weeks, never missed)
Church accountability (3 men who know everything, weekly check-ins)
Maintains all consequences Michelle imposed without complaint
Character Development:
Becoming emotionally available (learning to share feelings, not escape)
Developing integrity in all areas (finances, work, friendships—not just marriage)
Building distress tolerance (sits with discomfort instead of running)
Cultivating empathy (can feel Michelle's pain without making it about him)
Michelle's Healing Support:
Continues paying for her therapy
Continues managing triggers
Continues answering questions patiently
Continues holding space for her pain
What Michelle Experiences (Month 7-12):
Month 7: First time she laughed genuinely since discovery. Small moment but significant.
Month 8: First time she initiated sex (not out of duty). Still difficult but felt reconnected briefly.
Month 9: First time she went whole day without thinking about affair. Progress.
Month 10: Trigger happened (saw AP's name on social media). James handled perfectly—dropped everything, held her, no defensiveness. She felt safe.
Month 11: She realized: "I'm married to different person than who I married 12 years ago. And different from who betrayed me. He's... better?"
Month 12: Anniversary of discovery (D-Day). Terrible day. James took day off work, stayed with her, let her rage/cry/grieve. He wrote her letter:
James's Letter (Month 12, D-Day Anniversary):
Michelle,
One year ago today, you discovered my affair. One year ago, I destroyed everything we'd built. One year ago, I became the villain in your story.
I can't erase that year. I can't undo the trauma. I can't give you back the trust I shattered.
What I can tell you is this:
The man who betrayed you is dead. I've spent 365 days killing him—through therapy, through accountability, through rebuilding my character from foundation up.
I've learned things about myself that disgust me:
I was entitled (thought I deserved happiness more than I deserved integrity)
I was cowardly (avoided hard conversations, escaped into fantasy)
I was selfish (chose my pleasure over your wellbeing)
I was compartmentalized (lived double life without feeling your pain)
I was lacking empathy (couldn't feel what I was doing to you)
These weren't excuses for the affair—these were the character defects that made the affair possible.
I've spent this year addressing every one. Not to earn your forgiveness (that's yours to give or withhold). But to become someone incapable of doing this again.
I know you're not fully healed. I know trust is still broken. I know triggers still happen. I know you still wonder if I'm worth staying with.
All I can tell you is:
I will never betray you again
I will maintain transparency forever
I will do this work for however long it takes
I will love you through your healing at your pace
I will be worthy of you—or spend my life becoming worthy
Thank you for not leaving. Thank you for giving me opportunity to prove I can change. Thank you for doing the hardest work of your life—healing from trauma I inflicted.
I'm sorry. Every day. Forever.
James
Michelle reads it. Cries. Then:
"I'm not ready to forgive you. I don't know if I'll ever be. But I see who you're becoming. And I think... I think we might make it."
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