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Fail to do this and you are likely to become a miserable husband.

The ultimate marriage manual is replete with instruction regarding the importance of leadership of the man in the home.

Did you know that statistically, more divorces are initiated by the woman.

What does this mean? More marriages could have been saved if the man had a better understanding of his wife.

If you don't understand your wife, it will be extremely difficult to live happily with her.

God, the Master Leader knows that, without structure and proper leadership, no institution can run effectively.

Let's seek to secure an understanding of God's modus operandi for marriage, and the charge He places upon the man:

  1. 1 Peter 3:7 (KJV) "Dwell with her according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife...that your payers may not be hindered".

  2. 1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV)."Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding". Fail to have a good understanding of your wife, and you will treat her unkindly. The wrong treatment of your spouse will, not only hinder your prayer, but will result in an unhappy wife. She will not feel that her needs are being met. She will become disenfranchised with the relationship. She starts wishing she could escape the clutches of the marriage.

  3. Genesis 18:19: "I know him that he will order his household". God knew Abraham to be a man who will lead in his home.

  4. Joshua 24:15: "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord". Joshua did not say, "I will consult my wife to see if we will follow God". He takes the lead. He establishes the guidelines. He clears the way. Then he declares categorically. This is how our family will be governed. We will serve the Lord.

  5. Psalm 101:2 (BSB) "I will walk in my house with integrity of heart". The Psalmist declares

  6. Deuteronomy 24:5 "Cheer her up" When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.

For the man, being married means more than just bringing home the bread, and disciplining the children. If that is your primary definition of marriage, then your married life will be a tortuous experience; for you, your wife and the children.

Your marriage is really your second job. You must invest time and effort to understand her, so you can honor her, cheer her up, cherish her and place her on a pedestal in your heart, in your home and in public.

Here are ten (10) needs of your wife that you cannot ignore, if you are to enjoy the bliss and benefits of a triumphant marriage:

  1. Her need to talk

  2. She needs honesty/ transparency

  3. She needs you to offer loving leadership

  4. Her need for your time

  5. Her need for affection

  6. She needs affirmation

  7. She wants to feel needed

  8. She wants you to be vulnerable

  9. Her need for a provider

  10. She needs commitment to family

P.S. There's a lot of men who married the wrong woman, and they feel that the marriage is irreparable. God understands that too. (See Proverbs 21:9, 19)

For those marriages, however, that are repairable, God expects the man to assume his God-endowed role to offer wise leadership and begin the process of healing the marriage. This, oftentimes requires professional intervention.

- Lloyd Allen

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