Expectation.
Welcome to the course
Unmet expectations destroy marriages. This course teaches you to identify hidden assumptions, communicate desires clearly, and create a shared vision. When you align expectations, you eliminate unnecessary conflict and build the peaceful, unified partnership you both desire.
WHAT'S INCLUDED IN THIS COURSE: 7 Video Lessons — Short, direct teaching that gets to the root of your marriage problems fast. No fluff — just truth that works. 7 Transformation Worksheets — Couples-ready workbooks for every module, built to produce real breakthroughs. The Demand vs. Declare Framework — A simple communication skill that changes how you and your spouse talk about needs — immediately. The 5-Step Conflict Resolution Tool — A repeatable process that turns every clash into a conversation instead of a war. The Major Areas Deep-Dive — Written agreements covering sex, money, in-laws, parenting, roles, and more — anchored in Scripture. The Life Seasons Realignment Tool — Helps couples stay connected through every major life change — babies, job loss, grief, and beyond. The 220 Discussion Questions — The most complete couples conversation guide available. Surfaces what most couples never say out loud. The 30/60/90 Day Action Plan — You leave with a concrete personal plan — not just good intentions. Your Personal Marriage Covenant — A signed, written agreement built from your real expectations. Something you'll return to for years. A Biblical Foundation — Every module is grounded in Scripture. This is covenant marriage — not just relationship advice.
HOW TO TAKE THIS COURSE: Work through one module per week. Watch the video first —
Expectation
A leading cause of divorce
Everybody enters marriage with expectations. These expectations are hidden rules that form our reality of how a marriage should function. These expectations are usually unconscious (hidden) rules that we expect our partner to comply with.
Expectation
A leading cause of divorce
Everybody enters marriage with expectations. These expectations are hidden rules that form our reality of how a marriage should function. These expectations are usually unconscious (hidden) rules that we expect our partner to comply with.
Meet the author
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Lloyd Allen is a Theologian, Author, and Speaker, and the Founder and CEO of Fixing Marriages Academy, Inc. Trained as a Marriage and Family Therapist at Barry University, with honors, Lloyd brings 30 years of experience helping couples around the world repair, restore, and rebuild their marriages. Happily married and the father of two, Lloyd's greatest passion is helping you build a happy, loving marriage that lasts.
MODULE 1:
The Root of Most Marriage Problems.
Most couples don't have a love problem — they have an expectation problem.
DO THIS FIRST
Pre-Course Assessment
Assess the present status of your marriage so you can measure the progress.
MODULE 1: The Root of Most Marriage Problems: Why unspoken and misaligned expectations destroy relationships from the inside out. Unspoken expectations are silent marriage killers. You walked down that aisle carrying a lifetime of assumptions about how a spouse should act, speak, provide, feel, and love — and so did they. Nobody announced them. Nobody agreed to them. But both of you are being judged by them every single day. When expectations go unaddressed, they become unmet needs. Unmet needs become frustration. Frustration becomes resentment. Resentment becomes the wall between two people who once couldn't get enough of each other. Where Expectations Come From: Your parents' marriage, your culture, your past relationships, your faith, and even Hollywood shaped what you believe marriage should look like — most of it unconsciously. You're living by a script you never chose. How Hidden Expectations Become Hidden Resentment. What you never say, your spouse can never meet. Silence isn't patience — it's a slow-burning fuse that eventually takes the whole house down. WORKSHEET. Complete this worksheet together: ** DOWNLOAD AND PRINT * Most couples don't have a love problem — they have an expectation problem.
Module 2: Know What You Actually Expect. This module brings your expectations to the surface.
2: Know What You Actually Expect. You can't communicate what you haven't clarified — even to yourself. Most people enter marriage with feelings, not frameworks. They know something is wrong, but can't name it. They know they're disappointed but can't explain why. Transformation begins the moment you stop reacting and start reflecting. This module hands you the mirror. Using 220 targeted discussion questions as your primary tool, you'll excavate expectations you didn't even know you were carrying — around intimacy, leadership, finances, family, and daily life. Clarity is the first act of love. The 220 Couples Expectation Discussion Questions: The most comprehensive expectation conversation you'll ever have with your spouse — structured, safe, and revealing. DOWNLOAD AND PRINT FOR EASY REFERENCE Take turns asking and discussing these questions with your partner. Focus on each category of questions at a time, for example, one per week. Identifying Non-Negotiables vs. Preferences. Not every expectation carries equal weight. Learning the difference keeps you from fighting hard battles over small things. WORKSHEET. Complete this worksheet together: ** DOWNLOAD AND PRINT
MODULE 3. How to Communicate Your Expectations Without Starting a War. Truth without skill is just damage with good intentions.
MODULE 3: How to Communicate Your Expectations Without Starting a War. Truth without skill is just damage with good intentions. You finally know what you need. Now comes the harder part — saying it without your spouse shutting down, getting defensive, or firing back. Most couples don't fail at honesty. They fail at delivery. This module teaches you to speak with precision and grace — to declare your needs without demanding compliance, and to invite your spouse into the conversation instead of pushing them out of it. Communication done right doesn't create conflict. It prevents it. Speaking With Clarity, Not Accusation. How you say it determines whether your spouse hears you or defends against you. Words either open hearts or close them. Creating Safety for Your Spouse to Share Their. Real communication is never one-sided. When your spouse feels safe, the truth comes out — and that's where healing begins. WORKSHEET. Complete this worksheet together: ** DOWNLOAD AND PRINT
MODULE 4. When Expectations Clash, Conflict isn't the problem. How you handle it is.
MODULE 4: When Expectations Clash, Conflict isn't the problem. How you handle it is. Every couple will hit the wall where what you need and what your spouse needs feel completely incompatible. This moment doesn't have to break you — it can define you. Clashing expectations, handled well, become the raw material for a stronger covenant. This module teaches you to stop fighting to win and start working to understand. The goal isn't to compromise that leaves both people half-empty. It's a shared vision that makes both people feel fully seen. Navigating Differences Without Dominance or Surrender. Healthy resolution isn't about who's right. It's about building something neither of you could build alone. Building Shared Expectations as a Covenant Couple You're not just managing conflict — you're constructing a marriage culture. One intentional agreement at a time. WORKSHEET. Complete this worksheet together: ** DOWNLOAD AND PRINT
MODULE 5. Expectations in the Major Areas of Marriage. Where expectations hit hardest — and hurt deepest.
MODULE 5: Expectations in the Major Areas of Marriage. Where expectations hit hardest — and hurt deepest. Vague expectations are dangerous. Nowhere are they more explosive than in the areas that matter most — sex, money, in-laws, roles, parenting, and spiritual leadership. These aren't just topics. They're the fault lines of most marriages. This module moves the course from principle to practice, walking couples through each major arena with targeted clarity. You'll discover what you've been silently expecting, what God's Word actually requires of you, and how to build concrete agreements that hold under pressure. Applied Transformation Across the Real Battlegrounds: Sex, money, in-laws, roles, parenting, spiritual leadership — each area gets the direct, biblical, and practical attention it deserves. What the Bible Says Your Spouse Can Reasonably Expect From You. Expectation isn't just personal preference. Scripture defines covenant responsibility — and it starts with you, not your spouse. WORKSHEET. Complete this worksheet together: ** DOWNLOAD AND PRINT
MODULE 6: When Life Changes the Agreement. The marriage you built at 25 has to grow with you at 45.
When Life Changes the Agreement. The marriage you built at 25 has to grow with you at 45. Expectations that go unrevised become outdated contracts nobody signed up for. Careers shift. Children arrive. Health changes. Finances fluctuate. Faith deepens. Every major life transition quietly rewrites what both spouses need — and most couples never stop to renegotiate. They grow silently apart. This module builds the habit of staying current with each other, ensuring your marriage evolves together instead of in two separate directions. Revisiting and Renegotiating as Life Changes. What worked in year one may not serve you in year ten. Healthy couples schedule the conversation — not just the crisis. Building a Culture of Ongoing, Honest Conversation: Transformation isn't a one-time event. It's a daily decision to stay known, stay connected, and stay aligned. WORKSHEET. Complete this worksheet together: ** DOWNLOAD AND PRINT
MODULE 7: The Marriage You Both Envisioned — Now Build It. You came in with expectations. You leave with agreements.
The Marriage You Both Envisioned — Now Build It. You came in with expectations. You leave with agreements. This final module is where everything lands, not as theory, but as a plan. Couples will consolidate everything they've uncovered, communicated, and negotiated into a living marriage covenant. This is the output of the entire course — a shared document, a renewed commitment, and a clear path forward. Not just knowing what a great marriage looks like, but owning the specific version that belongs to you and your spouse. Building Your Personal Marriage Covenant: A written, agreed-upon covenant based on your real expectations — specific, faith-rooted, and built to last. Stepping Into the Marriage You Were Designed to Have. You weren't called to survive your marriage. You were called to lead it, build it, and thrive in it — together. WORKSHEET. Complete this worksheet together: ** DOWNLOAD AND PRINT
E-BOOK: 30-Day Marriage Journal
E-BOOK: 30-Day Marriage Journal
You have done the hard work. You have sat with your spouse and named expectations that lived unspoken for years. The Expectation Course gave you the framework. This journal gives you the rhythm. Thirty days of intentional evenings to build a new marriage culture.
Here is how to use this journal:
Sit together. No phones. No children if possible. Read the Scripture aloud. Let Tonight’s Truth settle. Answer the challenge — do it, don’t just discuss it. Work through the Evening Reflection honestly. Read the Closing Prayer and Covenant Statement together out loud every night.
You were not called to survive your marriage. You were called to build it. One evening at a time.
E-BOOK: The Marriage Discussion Guide: One list. Over 200 Questions
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Over 200 Strategic Marriage Questions to discuss with your partner to understand their expectations and build a foundation for honest communication.
Fifteen (15) sections highlighting the 15 fundamental components of marriage. Each section contains between 10-15 questions that build upon each other and provide thorough coverage of that topic area
QUICK REFERENCE GUIDE:
15 Downloadable cards for quick reference, along with a worksheet for each
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VIEW THE CATEGORIES SEPARATELY.
Work through the worksheets and download each category of questions for quick and easy reference
The list is structured to make it easier for couples to work through one category at a time and have focused, meaningful conversations about their expectations and values.