Updated: Oct 26, 2021
Disclaimer: This post is designed for those who are contemplating the reality of getting married in the future. For those who are already in a marriage with a spouse who do not believe as they believe, God's plan is that they live with their spouse in such a manner that they may one day be "won by your chaste conduct" (1 Peter 3:1-6).
Would you marry the dead?
This is a warning against being unequally yoked with an unbeliever in marriage.
You are a believer, alive in God. Why would you marry the dead?
A person who has not accepted Christ as his personal Lord and Savior, is dead in trespasses and sins (See Ephesians 2:1).
His spiritual sensibilities are benumbed. He cannot discern or understand spiritual things, for they are foolishness unto him (1 Corinthians 2:14). He cannot manifest the principles that make marriage work because these principles are born of the One who instituted marriage. Only a person who is born of God can genuinely manifest godly principles.
[[ Expect to have a life of pain and heartache if you, a believer ally yourself in marriage with an unbeliever ]]
If they are not born again by the Spirit of God, they cannot but manifest the traits of the unregenerate, natural heart. The state of the unregenerate heart is explained in Jeremiah 17:9 (King James Version): The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
Too many of our people are becoming entrapped in a bad marriage, because they treat the divine command with scant regard: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (See 2 Corinthians 6:14 )
They spend their lives complaining, why is he so abusive, stingy and unkind? Why is she so critical, unforgiving and vengeful? Why do you expect the ungodly person to manifest godly principles? Can an apple tree bear mangoes or a pear tree, pineapple?
[[ If you took a good egg and mix it with a bad egg, what kind of omelet will you get? ]]
But they promised that they will change. Shouldn't I believe them?
When we marry we do not marry potential or promise, we marry pattern. Their pattern of behavior, their history of living according to the dictates of their own evil heart establishes their character. In marriage what we live with is character.
Can two walk together if they are moving in different directions? Oh no, never.
[[ If God is your Father, and the Devil is their father, you will have problem with your father-in-law ]]
God's presence in the home is attended by holy angels. The atmosphere is saturated with love, harmony and gratitude. The wife and mother bask in the sunlight of appreciation and praise, and the husband finds affirmation and validation. The kids find in this home a sanctuary of hugs, kisses and laughter. This is the divine design for marriage.
On the other hand, what do you inherit when their father the devil is admitted in your home? When the one that they serve, and the one that inspires their every move, stamps his mode of operation in your home?
The devil has one mission and that is to spread misery and pain. Your unconsecrated partner can do nothing but replicate the destructive characteristics of their father, the devil. Hence, expect continual altercation, conflict of interest, disappointment and shattered hopes. Your discussions are fraught with misunderstanding (for they cannot discern spiritual things), and the contentions in your home know no limit.
After 26 years working with couples and families, I have found no marital experience more calculated to inflict emotional pain and trauma than one where the couple are "unequally yoked with an unbeliever". Rivers of tears. Acres of heartaches and mountains of problems.
Have we not seen enough of human woe? Have we not had our hearts broken by broken people?
I am therefore requesting kindly that we join with a concerted shout, that we give the wind a mighty voice and echo it from the mountain top, that a believer in God, one who is born of the Spirit and truth should never join in marriage with one who does not believe as they believe.
Be ye not unequally yoked together with an unbeliever.
- Lloyd Allen lloydallen.org